Writers’ Guilt – why we feel it – and how to let it go
We had a great chat at the London Writers’ Meetup recently about all things writer-related. I can’t resist sharing one of the themes that came up, because novelist and short story writer André raised a fantastic topic that got us all talking.
André shared that he feels guilty when he’s not writing
Here’s his story… André lives in Canada and recently took a wonderful trip to Paris. While he was there, he took a complete break from writing to enjoy his holiday, and when he got back, he struggled to return to his writing routine.
OK, that’s pretty annoying – and also very common. I previously wrote about how to get back to writing after a break here.
But he also felt guilty.
Guilty for not writing on holiday, and guilty for not getting back to writing on his return. I knew exactly what he meant, but I’d never heard it expressed that way. And it turns out he wasn’t the only one. Many others piped up that they felt exactly the same.
We feel guilty for not writing—not writing enough, not writing on holiday, not getting back to writing after a break, not writing perfectly enough—and just generally, when we’re not writing when or how we think we should (even if no one has actually asked us to write!), guilty thoughts start to creep in.
Oh my God, are we crazy?!
But you know what? I’ve got the perfect antidote for you: Have a child!
You’ll become so consumed with parent guilt that there won’t be any time left for writers’ guilt! (Ha ha—I’m only half kidding.) My own writer’s guilt evaporated six years ago when I became a mum. Suddenly, my time was no longer my own. So I literally had to find a new way to write – or give up.
Seriously, though, if writers’ guilt is something that affects you, here are some things to think about…
But first, where does writers’ guilt come from?
When you desperately want to make it as a successful writer, it’s hard not to convince yourself that you must be writing every spare minute. And if you’re not, maybe that means you don’t want it enough. And if you don’t want it enough, then maybe—deep down—you don’t actually deserve it.
Does that ring true?
Then comes the comparison. You look at other, seemingly more focused and productive writers who appear to be working harder. You assume they’re staying up half the night, every night, to write. And maybe they are.
But at what cost?
Will they burn out? Will they enjoy the process? How will it affect their families, their relationships, and their health? Because when writing is always the priority, there’s often no time for sleep, exercise, rest, or proper food.
I’ve skipped exercise for years because I was “too busy writing”. But not anymore.
So yes—maybe that guilt comes from this belief that you don’t deserve success unless you’ve really proved yourself by working like a dog.
But I’m here to give you permission to let go of that guilt and look at things differently.
Here are some ideas to help:
Gratitude
We hear a lot about gratitude, and that’s because it has so many surprising health benefits. When it comes to the goal, aim or dream of writing, let’s try reframing it. Writing is a joyful, creative practice, not a chore. It doesn’t have to be on your to-do list. So you don’t have to feel guilty about not doing it. It’s something you choose to do. It’s a gift.
Take time to appreciate the gift that it is. We are lucky to be creative souls. But we don’t need to beat ourselves up when we’re not frantically trying to summon the muse. In fact, research into self-compassion shows that we’re generally more productive when we’re kind to ourselves (after falling behind or putting things off).
Taking a break is good for you
Consider this a prescription from your writing doctor.
It’s okay to take a break. To go on holiday. To be fully present with your family and friends—and not write. You do not have to write.
If you want to write on holiday, that’s fine too. But if you want to switch off and immerse yourself in where you are, that’s more than okay—it will probably even help your writing. Take a notebook. Jot a few nighttime reflections (but only if you want to). But let go of the pressure to “produce.”
Equally, if you want an evening or a weekend off writing, you don’t have to feel guilty. I’m not talking about long-term avoidance here. But, rather, taking a break when you need one. A real one. We all need time to recharge our batteries. It’s OK to watch TV or read a book instead of writing – or do anything else that you find restful.
And by the way, this also includes taking a break after having a baby. Please don’t feel guilty about this! Put the writing aside, focus on what matters, and return to it when you’re ready. Even if that means not writing for a whole year or more.
Lower the bar
Since becoming a parent, I have had to lower the bar with regard to how often I sit down to write and for how long.
Think 10-minute writing sessions. Sometimes I schedule them. I put them in my diary and use a timer to help the session feel super focused. Lowering the bar in this way makes me feel much less guilty about not writing as much. Instead, I feel good about what I have achieved.
That way, if I decide to spend the evening chilling, I can do so in the happy knowledge that I’ve done my 10 minutes, and I still get that little hit of accomplishment.
Gold star. I did it!
Can’t find the muse today?
Don’t feel guilty—but don’t let it become a habit either. Here are a few things you can do instead:
- Read a book on writing
- Do some research
- Read or watch something in your genre
- Watch a short video about story craft
- Take yourself to a museum
- Hang out with people you love
These activities nourish your creative soul. And that’s important. You need to live a rich, full life to fuel your writing.
So, what can you take away from all this?
Writers’ guilt is common, but it’s not helpful. You don’t need to write every spare minute to be worthy of success. Real life matters too. Rest matters. And writing should be a source of joy, not pressure.
If you’re struggling with guilt, try this:
Be kind to yourself, especially when you’ve lost momentum.
Remember that your writing is a gift – approach it with gratitude, not obligation.
Take breaks without apology – they’re good for you.
Lower the bar – even 10 minutes counts.
Switch it up – do something else that feeds your creativity.
So—no more writers’ guilt, please. Writing is a wonderful luxury. Let’s not beat ourselves up about not doing it “enough.”
1:1 Coaching
When I work with my clients, I encourage them to write their stories with more joy and less guilt. If that sounds like something you’d benefit from, check out my website or drop me a line to introduce yourself. I’d love to help you find a writing rhythm that feels good, and finally get that story down.
Free Resources
The next London Writers’ Meetup is on Tuesday 10th June at 7.30pm (UK time). Fancy joining a fun and inspiring writing conversation?
I also host regular Silent Scribes sessions where we quietly write together – the next one is coming up on Wednesday 4th June at 9.30am. These sessions are great if you need a bit of accountability to force you to sit down and write.
And finally, don’t forget to join our Facebook group for weekly dose of accountability.
I hope to see you soon.